Despite new rules Audi drivers promise to carry on ignoring the Highway Code
Chairman of the Audi Drivers Association, Mick Souter, has said that Audi drivers are fully aware of the new changes to the Highway Code.
'It's essential to bear in mind that there is nothing in the new rules, or indeed in the Highway Code itself, which applies to Audi drivers.'
'The people of the UK regard us as true heroes of the road. Indicating at junctions, giving way and the ability to identify a cyclist is all completely alien to us. Our members are going to continue driving everywhere at ninety miles an hour, parking at thirty-degree angles in supermarket car parks and knocking small children down like nine pins.'
Transport secretary Grant Shapps confirmed that none of the new rules or any rules for that matter applied to Audi drivers. He dismissed concerns that inconvenient tree-hugging cyclists were in any way at risk.
'The feedback I've received from cyclist groups is that they enjoy the frisson of excitement when an Audi wanker screams by within half an inch of their pedals. If we make Audi drivers comply with the new rules, Britain's roads would be very dull places indeed, and none of us would want to see that.'