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Excrement covered Thatcher to win Turner Prize

Although the short list for the annual arts prize is still to be announced, the vandalized remains of the ‘yet to be built’ Margaret Thatcher statue is guaranteed to triumph. Organisers are aiming to raise £200,000 for an effigy of the late Prime Minister; to act as a focal point for graffiti artists, divine lightning and medieval villagers armed with pitchforks, shouting ‘burn the beast’.

The ‘shit-stained’ bronze will have abusive graffiti scrawled across it by citizens made ironically illiterate, during Thatcher’s period as Education Secretary. Visitors to Grantham Museum have already signed a books of condolence, mainly with the phrase ‘lol’. Despite her funeral costing £1.2m, trade unionists of all persuasions agree it was worth every penny. Although many furious miners would have opted for a much earlier date.


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