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Father thoroughly disappointed after 4 year old fails to reproduce modern art

A local father, Brian Straight, is said to be ashamed of their four year old child, Benny, after the child failed to produce anything remotely like Wassily Kandinsky's 1925 abstract expressionist masterpiece, "Yellow-Red-Blue", under test conditions set by the Arts Council.

Mr. Straight's disappointment was greatly compounded by the fact that he had spent the previous few months telling everyone that four year old Benny was more than capable of producing modern art, as good as, if not better than, anything currently being displayed in the world's galleries.

"He specifically used the phrase: 'My four year old could do better than that'", said an Arts Council spokesperson today. "He told anyone who would listen, often bringing them to a Kandinsky or a Rothko and pointing at it to be sure they understood exactly how good his child was. We were intrigued by this four year old genius so we offered to see what they could do under trial conditions."

The council gave the Benny an entire gallery space, replete with paints and canvas. Everyone's hopes were dashed, however, when the kid mostly just walked around in circles, humming to itself, and occasionally asked loudly if he could have some chocolate.

"We got quite excited when, after an hour, Benny picked up a paint brush. But he just chewed it, then pretended it was a light saber, then threw it angrily on the ground and decided to scream instead."

After 5 hours, Mr Straight was forced to admit that his four year old couldn't do better than most modern artists, and that he would probably grow up to just be a chump, like the rest of us.

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