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FBI unlocks iPhone by pressing ‘ctrl alt del’

After much technical consternation, scientists have managed to crack Apple’s elaborate security with a simple ‘three-fingered re-boot’. A DOJ spokeswoman said: ‘We’d explored every option; including switching it on and off and rubbing the battery. But much to everyone’s surprise, the cryptography was easily bypassed by picking lint out of the keypad and giving the phone a good shake.’

The iPhone now joins a long list of things we wrongly thought were hard to get into - including the Presidential race, negative equity and Russell Brand’s knickers. ‘It was less like cracking the enigma code and more like typing IDDQD into ‘Doom’.’

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