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Food banks stock fox meat

A fur-clad Conservative spokeswoman explained: ‘Foxes are at the root of all our problems – including Brexit. No seats on your train? Foxes. Working three zero-hour jobs? Foxes. Wondering why we had to bail out the bankers with money meant for the disabled? Ah, that last one was us. Soz.’

Following a full-page colour-spread of an urban fox, fraudulently claiming housing benefit, a cull is inevitable. Food banks will now stock a plentiful supply of mystery meat, serving with the strap line – ‘Strong, stable and tastes like chicken’.

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