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God admits to hearing Republicans

Said the Divine Being: 'Initially it started as a dull buzzing noise, a droning on about the Second Amendment. The Second Amendment? I mean, what’s that? I just thought it was tinnitus. But after a while a shrill, homophobic whine caught my attention…apparently that was Michele Bachmann.'

‘They could have asked for World Peace or a Cure for Hunger, but most of the prayers seem to be for a fire retardant The Star-Spangled Banner. Since then, I’ve made a concerted effort to listen and I have to say I’m completely on board for this Rapture thingy…what a great idea!'


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