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God of Volcanos angered by exposed nipple

The Malaysian deity insisted that deadly quakes are caused by unfettered nudity and breast feeding in public causes tidal waves. Sounding like your disapproving spinster aunt, the God declared: ‘I may be a notorious fuddy-duddy, but someone needs to keep a sense of propriety’.

The prissy nature of divinity, means many Gods indulge in slut-shaming and Gomorrah bashing. One geologist explained: ‘What you might think are seismic rumblings caused by moving plate boundaries, are actually the sound of huge imaginary beings tutting in a prudish manner’.

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