Hauliers to join government in being asleep at the wheel

A shortage in lorry drivers has kicked the world-beating UK government ideas engine into overdrive. A spokesman said: 'If there are not enough lorry drivers, then we will just do what we are doing with doctors, nurses, teachers and everyone else: just make them work longer hours. Snoozy hauliers playing lamppost slalom dodgems on their way back from France is just the sort of thing Great Britain needs. Without that sense of danger on our British roads, the people just don't enjoy driving. Not like they used to when all of us drunkards ruled the highways.'