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Heathrow expansion to include Sudetenland

As MPs debate the merits of a ‘Third Runway and Reich’, many are worried about the environmental impact, the promise of ‘budget holidays in our time’ and the annexation of parts of Surrey. Neither has the sinister spread of Heathrow been helped by the sight of brown-shirted flight attendants and proposed bombing raids to Magaluf.

Many are concerned that the pursuit of Heathrow’s Lebensraum is a push for greater racial purity or, at the very least, better inflight movies. A spokesman promised shorter departure times for all: ‘We shall flight them in France, we shall flight them on the beaches and in the fields…possibly not the landing grounds, themselves – we just don’t have the capacity.’

Without direct reference to EasyJet, the Government argued that Britain’s finest hour also involved rickety wooden planes, who were vastly outnumbered by their European competitors. The spokesman said: ‘We are proposing a Third Runway that will last a thousand years. Or until Theresa May blows her head off in a bunker.’

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