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Holly & Phil to host Ukraine vote

Moving on from poverty shaming, the co-presenters will be democracy-shaming Luhansk and Donetsk, while jumping the queue for Soviet reunification. A producer said: 'We'll have a Wheel of Misfortune, where every prize is an invasion'.

The presenters said they were unfazed by the media backlash, insisting military coups were just a 'harmless bit of fun'. They promised to reduce the energy bill of any viewer by switching to Russian gas, and their producer said that any annexation would be followed by a light-hearted cookery segment.

'Ukraines will vote via a phone-in, with calls costing one pound. It will be a multi-choice question, but as always the answer will be ridiculously easy - surrender'.

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