New American Pope to impose tariffs on other religions
- Guest Author
- 6 days ago
- 1 min read
In his first act as Pope, the American Robert Francis Prevost has declared that he will impose tariffs on other religions competing with the Catholic Church for the devotion of followers.
‘We need to reset the religious economy, put our church first and Make Catholicism Great Again’, he said, pulling a branded ‘MCGA’ mitre onto his head.
‘Any non Catholics visiting the Vatican City will face tariffs of 120%,’ he declared, unveiling a white board setting out the tariffs that will apply to each religion. ‘ We're making an exemption for Buddhists who will only pay 10% as no one can seriously consider them a threat.’
Other innovations expected from the first American Pope include the construction of a wall around the Vatican City to control immigration, and a new Climate Change Denial initiative which will see the year-round emission of both white and black smoke from all papal buildings.
In his final word at his first press conference, the Pope confirmed he hadn’t ruled out sending cardinals to Greenland to capture the territory by force
story by @herculepoisson
