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  • Myke

‘I know you are - but what am I?’ Steve Barclay gets tough with unions

Furious unions have accused the Health Secretary of making farting noises with his armpits during negotiations, and of wiping bogies on the underside of his desk. Initial reports suggest Mr Barclay entered into negotiations with his arms and fists swinging in a windmill fashion while shouting ‘If you don’t get out of my way, it’s your fault!’

RCN leader Pat Cullen expressed frustration that Mr Barclay would only respond to her questions with the repeated phrase ‘your mum’. He hit back at unions, accusing their mums of being prozzies and their dads of buying their shoes at Poundland.

Talking to Jo Coburn on BBC Politics Live, Mr Barclay demonstrated his negotiating techniques with the help of a small He-Man figurine and a Barbie doll. As the toys violently clashed, he told viewers:

‘Boosh! Take that, union scum. Chiff-chiff-chiff. Doosh-doosh!!! You want a pay rise? Prepare to die. Boom. Aaaaagh. Chiff-chiff-chiff…’

He then simulated sex with the toys until his elderly mother came on set and clipped him around the ear.

Mr Barclay denies fidgeting and not paying attention.

image from pixabay

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