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In unprovoked error, Hilary strangled Bald Eagle

Short of dressing the Statue of Liberty in a Burka, Mrs Clinton has lurched from one PR blunder to another. Commented one journalist: 'The Presidential race is entering the final furlong and if Mrs Clinton was horse - and before you can say Benghazi - she's gone from bookie's favourite to an ingredient at the local glue factory'.

The Presidential hopeful has managed to set fire to the Stars & Stripes, punch a bison and agree to Bill hosting a sleepover for a group of Girl Guides. Her lead in the polls has been cut as video emerges of her lighting a cigar with a rolled-up Bill of Rights, then proceeding to 'take a dump' on the White House lawn. Hilary's erratic behaviour has seen her sing the Star-Spangled Banner in Korean and pebble-dash Mount Rushmore. Remarked a flummoxed advisor: 'She keeps doing the unthinkable - like making Donald Trump electable.’

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