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International crisis averted by judicious use of flag emoji

Conflict in Israel ground to a halt, after at least thirteen social media accounts added a flag to their biography. This follows a similar success in ending the Ukraine war, with a sad face emoji followed by an eggplant.

Said one online warrior: 'Yeah I could've sent aide, volunteered or researched what the conflict was about, but I felt it was more appropriate to post emojis of popcorn and guns, with the East German flag - I couldn't find the right one - followed by hashtag 'awks'.'

Amnesty International has confirmed that the death toll would have been much lower if people had used TikTok. 'In these situations civilians don't need help, they need large flags projected onto buildings. Only then will we find peace, smiley face, smiley face.'

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