This is the best ceasefire deal we could get for our darling child, Israel,' said US Secretary of State Marco Rubiks-Cube, who had brokered the talks.
'The terms are exactly the same as in the last ceasefire agreement - Israel can carry on bombing who and what the hell it likes in Lebanon while no one can attack it.
'It has the same deal in Gaza, by the way, and the truce there has held very successfully for eight months now, with Israel launching attacks and killing people on a near daily basis.
'This is all part of Israel claiming its inalienable right to exist,' Rubiks-Cube continued, feeding Benjamin Netanyahu a choc drop, 'along with its inalienable right to bring total misery to everyone around it.'
At press time, the IDF was celebrating the prospect of the new ceasefire by launching yet another air strike on a village in Southern Lebanon, just for the hell of it.
Image: Newsbiscuit Archive
