At least one member of the music press and upwards of a dozen photographers are thought to have gone too far in trying to ingratiate themselves with the international pop star and may have disappeared up her awarding-winning rectum. Going to any length to flatter Adele, friends of the reporters fear that they may have inadvertently entrapped themselves with a series of fawning interviews cunningly disguised as suppositories.
Earlier this year Adelle had to have Graham Norton surgically removed, along with the editorial team of the NME. Some had been concerned when James Corden recently decided to interview Adele but fortunately ‘he was too busy’ disappearing up his own arse. One journalist declared, as he emerged bleary eyed from her lower intestine: ‘It was hellish. All I asked was – did she think she was the greatest human being off all time? And the next thing I know, I’m up to my neck in poorly digested ballads and covered in sweetcorn’.