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Kitchen bin still not full, man confirms

Updated: Nov 22, 2021

The pedal bin in the kitchen still does not need emptying yet, a Leicester man has announced.

‘Room for a few more things in there, and then the binmen come on Friday so I might as well take it out then,’ said Peter Jones, 46, in a tone designed to cut off any challenge, while simultaneously trying to hold back a retch after getting a whiff of four-day-old chicken carcass.

Privately, Jones is thought to be harbouring concerns, having deployed a two-handed compression technique to squeeze in a load of mouldy fridge items into the already crammed bin a couple of days ago. He is thought to be preparing for the worst, resorting to wedging the base of the bin between his two feet while trying to extract the bin bag by the couple of millimetres of material that remains visible at the top.

‘It’s a perfect storm,’ said Jones’ wife, in an exasperated tone. ‘Cheap Asda binbags. Rips in the side from when he put a tin can in earlier this week. Already seepage of some unknown liquid into the base. God help whoever empties this one. And, yes, it will definitely be Peter.’

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