Masked avengers to sue government for lost earnings



Masked avengers across the UK are suing the government for lost earnings, blaming the recent lifting of mask restrictions for a rapid drop in income. "It used to be easy being a masked avenger under Covid," said one avenger, who preferred, as usual, to remain anonymous. "Since everyone had to wear masks, no one could tell if you were out shopping, going to the cinema or, you know, avenging. Since the lifting of restrictions, however, we stand out a lot more, and people tend to see us coming. This makes avenging much harder." Masked avengers make money from people and companies who prefer to outsource their vengeance due to time restrictions. Many are hired online and sent after noisy neighbours, people who push shopping trollies into canals, and that bastard in the delivery van who always parks on the footpath. Success rates have plummeted since the lifting of mask restrictions, however, with many avengers struggling to break even after mask laundry costs are taken into account. The government has refused to comment other that to state that their case rests on ample evidence that vengeance is actually a lot easier without a mask.

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