top of page

‘Moths are idiots’ scientists confirm

David Rogers, professor of futile entomology at Anthea Turner College Cambridge today published the results of his exhaustive seventeen year study into the uselessness of the common moth.

‘This is my life’s work. Over 2000 pages of analysis and statistics, comprehensively peer reviewed and submitted to the Royal Society which we believe proves, without doubt, that moths are a right bunch of dicks.

I mean, they fly into my bathroom at night because they think the light is somehow the moon. What’s that all about?, It’s nothing like the moon. It’s much smaller for a start.

And why are they so obsessed with the moon anyway? They’re never going to make it. And even if they did, there’s f*@k all for a moth to do up there anyway. Honestly, set of furry faced wankers the lot of them.’

Asked about his next research project, Rogers explained, ‘We think we’re either going to look at whether wasps are a bit tetchy or if Boris Johnson is a clueless oaf. That one probably won’t take seventeen years though.’

Image: Unsplash/ Mikkel Frimer-Rasmussen

5 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Despite live-tweeting the killing of Osama, it turns out the CIA spent much of the 80s sending Afghan warlords $630 million in annual payments, in exchange for explicit images of Bin Laden provocative

Using its billionaire dollar empire, Facebook intends to purchase creative ownership of large portions of the English language and a significant portion of the air you breathe. A Facebook executive e

Disguised under the pretext of a kit launch, Britain’s athletes took time out of their busy schedule - of avoiding drug tests - to show off more bulging pectorals than a Zac Efron calendar. Oiled lik

bottom of page