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Mr Bennett from Take Hart offers to form caretaker government

Mr Bennett, the accident-prone but lovable janitor from 80s kids-TV classics Take Hart and HartBeat has offered his services to form a caretaker government.

Bennett, speaking from his messy studio in White City, London in trademark beige work jacket, pointed to his vast experience in dealing with annoying little shites who you would really like to smash over the head and pummel into a flat piece of clay on a table.

'Won't be a problem,' said Bennett, adopting a characteristic side-glance to camera with forced grin. 'Steadying the ship for the sack-of-shits that are the Tories will be a piece of piss compared to some of the situations I faced with Morph.

'I can mould people to my will...well, in the case of Morph, I used to just mould him to the wall, but not till after the cameras had stopped rolling and Tony had gone off to judge the entries in The Gallery,' continued Bennett.

Other caretakers, including Big Sam Allardyce have predictably thrown their hat in the ring. Jack Torrence, the crazed caretaker played by Jack Nicholson in The Shining has also expressed an interest in the job, but has been ruled out as the current incumbent in Number 10 is known to be even more mad and deluded.


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