New tasty fluoride snacks mean no one has to brush their teeth any more

Sugar-free, yet delicious little bites containing fluoride are coming to market this year, meaning the need to brush teeth or gargle mouthwash will be eliminated. Concerns that the food will have a minty flavour have been dismissed as immature, as fluoride itself doesn’t taste of anything. In addition, fluoride can be ingested with no harm to the body.

‘There are many different flavours with a wide range of mouthfeels,’ said Professor Amy Cardling, the developer of the fluoride treats. ‘We’ve got chocolate bars, biscuits, crisps and cakes, and next year, we’ll be launching ranges of drinks, including alcohol. This will bring an end to tooth decay for anyone who consumes our products regularly.’

Rival Professor, Laura Daintree from the Institute of Not Buggering About, responded: ‘Wonderful as all that sounds, the real Holy Grail of long-term tooth protection is getting our salivary glands to produce fluoride. Clinical trials have been very successful, and we are only 18 months away from being able to offer the minor, inexpensive medical procedure. And next we’re working on spunk which doesn’t

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