Having quaffed over 20,000 pints on the election trail to appear as an 'everyman' to voters, Mr. Farage has now become riddled with hives every time he swallows a mouthful of 'Bishop's Cock'.
One disillusioned voter said: 'I can't vote for someone who is unable grin inanely while drinking in a pub. That was the one thing about UKIP I liked, the grinning and then the drinking. Grin. Drink. Then grin some more. If he's just going to do the grinning I might as well vote for a chimp! It takes a great man to be able to grin and then drink. Just grinning? Any old fool can do it.'