Northerners believed to be targeted by Pegasus Pieware
Pegasus pieware is a pieware that can be covertly installed in pies to detect who exactly has eaten them. The pieware is capable of collecting passwords and location tracking.
It was discovered three weeks ago by Eddie Fazackerley, a furloughed organic hobnailed boot designer from Wigan. Mr Fazackerley noticed a failed installation attempt on his beef and potato iPie.
‘If that pieware had fully exploited my security vulnerabilities and obtained unrestricted access to the filling, there’s no telling the havoc it would wreak.
Luckily I managed to pour on my gravy in the nick of time, which seemed to neutralise its operational parameters and stop it infecting my pie’.
A spokesperson for Mi6 said it was the most sophisticated remote pie attack ever, and that in-depth analysis confirmed that the pieware was being widely used against Northerners.
‘Clearly, whoever is behind all this wants to find out who has eaten all the pies, and we’d recommend that all Northerners protect themselves by also eating all the gravy’.