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Obama says Disney World of Torture must close

Amnesty reported prolonged stress positions while queuing at the Magic Kingdom, forced water-boarding at Epcot and acts of sexual humiliation in the Animal Kingdom. The UN Human Rights Commissioner said the resort should be closed immediately, an opinion which has not been influenced by the fact 'he is too short for Splash Mountain'.

One FBI agent was quoted as saying, 'On a couple of occasions, I saw a gentlemen with a large dog head chained hand and foot in a foetal position to the floor. When I tried to talk to him, all he could say was ‘gawrsh'.'

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