Said a friend of the band: ‘Obviously, this means that Niall and Zayn will be withdrawing their application to McDonalds and Harry no longer needs to participate in clinical trials at ‘Monkey World’. That said, they’re looking forward to the challenge of college life and meeting girls of their own age – rather than 10’.
On their application they recorded 10 GCSEs between them, a collection of used panties and all five listed their next of kin as Simon Cowell. ‘And who knows, after two years of study they might be able to secure a job in the music industry.’
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