Complained one Minister: ‘It’s almost as if every time we mention sex people start thinking about sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex! Short sex, hairy sex, marsupial sex -the public have a one-track mind. Well let me tell you, this time we are going get down and dirty – we are going to give it to them long and hard – we are…hmmm…did that sound sexual to you?’. Likewise, there has been a rise in applications to law school, on the off chance that Porn Laws involve men in wigs and a well-lubricated gavel.
Further attempts to filter porn just had people rummaging around for the Kleenex, licking their monitors and howling like Russell Brand during a full moon. Employers discovered that worker efficiency increased if you re-title business emails ‘penis enlargement’ or ‘The Chuckle Brothers visit the petting zoo’. As one prominent pornographer explained: ‘If you really want British youth to disengage with online filth, you need to rebrand it. Call it democracy, call it tidying your room or make it look like exercise’.
