PornHub to ban porn

In a move that has shocked the world of sweaty-palmed men the popular adult website PornHub has announced it will be banning all forms of pornography at the end of the month in the hopes it will encourage people to use the site more.


"It's something we've been thinking of doing for a while" said CEO Max Hardon. "We think the idea of logging onto a computer, making sure your wife has left to visit her mother and then finding a video of that fetish she won't let you do is so cliche. We want to embrace new forms of explicit media, like full-on gardening videos or erotic needlework. It is our belief that we will thrive in this new world, and it'll only be a matter or time before all those other sites follow."


This news was welcomed with dismay by users of the site. Regular visitor David Malcolm of Kidderminster Road in Truro (who requested not to be identified) said "This is ridiculous, how am I meant to get myself off now. My girlfriend left me two years ago and I can't afford an escort. I'll have to go back to buying FHM and... wait, that doesn't exist anymore either?! F**K!"


Image: stephiejo/Pixabay

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