Updated: Jan 3, 2022
After British Foreign Secretary, Liz Truss, was pictured in military gear, being driven around Estonia in a flag waving tank, she was messaged by Russian Premier, Vladimir Putin, who described the pictures as being wildly erotic and sensually self-stimulating.
He has now asked her to Moscow, ostensibly for bi-lateral talks, but he would love her to feature as Miss January on the 2022 Kremlin calendar, preferably posing astride the nosecone of a hypersonic missile.
Ms Truss has long been an admirer of Putin, particular in the methods he employed to rise to the top so quickly, and in the brutal fashion he has maintained that position, crushing all opposition in the process.
She has, however, explained that as far as any extra-curricular activity goes whilst in Russia, she is married. To which Mr Putin stated that was not a problem as he does know a couple of guys.