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Trump-Putin global alliance ridiculed as ‘League of Losers'


Donald Trump is fed up with the United Nations and member nations who say bad things about him behind his back. He thinks that US money should command more obsequious fawning and less invective. Vladimir Putin finds the United Nations annoying. Sure, he can veto stuff that would move towards world peace – but who wants that?


Insiders say that Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are working on a new global alliance that will by-pass the UN and help them achieve their goals in the right way. A bit like the highly successful and well respected Board Of Peace that has secured a just and lasting peace in Gaza.


Critics are not impressed. ‘It’s just a League of Losers,’ said one. ‘Donald Trump is losing badly against Iran and has no plan B. Vladimir Putin is losing against Ukraine, and Moscow is nearly as smoky as Bordeaux. He can’t even buy DVDs off the internet due to ‘planned maintenance in the supply chain’. It’s hard to see how these two could fix anything.’


Donald Trump remains upbeat about his plans to sideline the UN. He says that there is strong interest in a new global alliance from Venezuela, The Marshall Islands, Narnia, FIFA, and the Isle of Wight. A launch event is planned for the autumn at Mar-a-Lago, where attendees will resolve all current conflicts before moving on for an afternoon of golf.



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"Prigozhin, you pussy!" news consumer yells to himself



"Is that it, Prigozhin, you pathetic pussy!" a consumer of online news yelled out to no one but himself on Sunday morning, throwing his device into a corner of his bedroom in dejection.


Friends of the online news consumer, who lives in Swindon, say he had been gearing himself up since the small hours of Saturday morning for what he predicted down the pub at lunchtime would be "a perfectly good civil war in Russia".


"He was doing his nut that the motorised column of Wagner mutineers had moved to within 200 kilometres of Moscow, and that the authorities were ripping up the motorway to stop their advance," continued a friend of the news consumer.


"I think it lent excitement to his rather empty, humdrum life.


"He was crushed when he learnt that Prigozhin had made a deal with Putin via the president of Belarus to go into exile, and that the rebel Wagner forces would be returning to Ukraine. He wanted a ruck.


"Now all our news consumer friend has to look forward to in his life is some miraculous breakthrough by Ukrainian forces in the Zaporizhzhia region, and for Trump to go to prison and get shivved by some ultra-violent Democrat voter in the showers."




First published 27 Jun 2023


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