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Radio 1 to downgrade its DJs from perverts to ‘crooks’

In what is being seen as another cost-cutting measure by the BBC, their flagship radio station has been forced to curtail their staff’s lascivious behaviour: ‘We’ll be focused on penny-pinching rather than the buttock-pinching. Music should be about the 15-29 demographic, but sadly, so are most of our court cases. We need revenue neutral misbehaviour. Gone are the days when the licence payer was able to subsidize the world’s top molesters. We’d love for Nick Grimshaw to indulge in a bit of insider trading in the liquidities market. We need to be frugal - graspy not gropey’.

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