The middle classes of Britain have today gone into shock after revelations that their favourite radio station, BBC Radio 4, has been secretly dumping thousands of tons of smugness into rivers and lakes all over the country.
‘It turns out Radio 4's presenters and guests between them were producing such vast quantities of smugness that they simply couldn't pump it all out over the airwaves,' explained DEFRA spokesman Danny Coffee, who is leading efforts to uncover full details of what some are calling "The worst environmental crime since Bill Oddie."
‘We're not sure how long this has been going on,' he added. 'It seems that it has been impossible for standard FM and DAB transmission facilities to fully disperse the levels of self-satisfaction generated by the likes of Melvyn Bragg discussing bloody Kierkegaard with a bunch of tosspot academics at nine o’clock in the morning.’
Head of programming for Radio 4 has admitted that they have been dealing with unusually high levels of producer/presenter gratification.
‘I’m sure we would all agree: the demise of a few species of inedible freshwater fish and algae is a small price to pay for us being right about everything.