Robert Mugabe declares himself the new Doctor Who
Although the official outcome of the election is still to be announced, Mr. Mugabe has confidently predicted he will become the next Time Lord. Ably assisted by a toothless UN and a sonic screwdriver, he hopes to fast-track a land reform program to correct the inequitable galaxy distribution created by the Daleks.
Bookies and the Electoral Commission have expressed ‘surprise’ given that Mr. Mugabe was not on the ballot paper for the iconic sci-fi role. However, a kidnapped producer said: ‘No one has done more to turn back time and change history than our glorious President’.