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Rural housing crisis eased by inbreeding, says Zoopla

Greedy landlords have been slammed for doubling the rent of inbred yokels, while tenants with curiously large ears and pronounced squints have demanded a three-for-two discount. Campaigners for inbred villagers have dubbed the increase in rents and council rates a ‘banjo tax’. A protest of several hundred (or several thousand, depending on how you look at it), gathered in a sheepfold between Shitterton and Nether Wallop to express their outrage.

A spokesperson for the villagers said: ‘Oi loiks ma parridge. Fadda Christmas gonna pit parridge don ma chimnee.’

The number of people moving from urban to rural properties increased significantly during the pandemic. Zoopla believe the trend is reversing as new arrivals have second thoughts. One new homeowner in the village of Wetwipe said: ‘It was idyllic at first, but then I attended the school sports day. The winner of the three-legged race was disqualified for having an unfair advantage.’

Tensions are running high in some areas, and police are appealing for witnesses after a stranger’s car was beaten to death in the village of Upper Denture.

[ hat tip SteveB ]

image from pixabay

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