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Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to the UK

Assigned seating will be in the standing up position only, while in-flight audio and video entertainment will be permanent re-runs of ‘Battleship Potemkin’. Passengers will get military issue nibbles, stewardesses in camo paint and – unlike EasyJet – will get the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber close up.

A VVS spokesman said: ‘We will offer a myriad of destinations, which all end in the Ukraine. Passengers will not have to worry about long checking-in queues, as they will be strapped to the underside of a bomb dropped from 5,000ft. Simples’.


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