Assigned seating will be in the standing up position only, while in-flight audio and video entertainment will be permanent re-runs of ‘Battleship Potemkin’. Passengers will get military issue nibbles, stewardesses in camo paint and – unlike EasyJet – will get the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber close up.
A VVS spokesman said: ‘We will offer a myriad of destinations, which all end in the Ukraine. Passengers will not have to worry about long checking-in queues, as they will be strapped to the underside of a bomb dropped from 5,000ft. Simples’.