Russian war crimes would infringe US/UK copyright
The Prime Minister warned the Russian ambassador, that any military intervention in the Ukraine would be in serious breach of international law and would be blatantly 'pinch our idea!'. This sentiment was echoed by The White House, who claimed that sticking their nose where it does not belong, is as American as apple pie or type one diabetes.
The Kremlin rejected the idea that all imperialism was the purview of countries with 'United' in their title: 'Why should Western Democracies have all the fun?' We just want to return the Ukraine to a period of stability - we were thinking sometime during the Stalin years.'