A shit prime time light entertainment documentary presenter has pretended to surprise a couple from Dunstable.
Unfortunately, the shot from inside of her arriving to surprise them has blown the whole ruse, because a cameraman, sound technician and producer are already in the hallway capturing the moment from within the dwelling.
'We were alerted to the surprise about half an hour before she officially arrived,' confirmed homeowner Joanne Boxvan. 'She and the whole crew turned up, introduced themselves, had a cup of tea, and then made us do four rehearsals of pretending to look unprepared for her visit waiting by the door together post make-up in our finest threads. This shit never happened during lockdown.'
'I can't believe all the major broadcasters are still trying to pull this crap off,' agreed husband Barry. 'I mean, it's obvious, isn't it? You might've got away with this in the eighties, but most people are wise to how telly works now, aren't they?
'On the plus side, we carried it off so well, we've just been offered full-time jobs as professional door answerers in movies. You know, like when detectives turn up on a doorstep? No one is ever taking a dump and shouting "I'll be there in a minute" - they're always right there opening the door exactly three seconds later, like they were just waiting behind it. Even in a really big house with a pool out back. But you see, that's the trick, isn't it? We don't answer it immediately, we wait a couple of beats, and then open the door. And never both of us together. For added realism, Jo will sometimes shout "who is it?" from the kitchen.'