Simon Cowell to be fired to the edge of space using his big trousers

Pop entrepreneur and TV personality Simon Cowell is set to join the likes of Amazon mogul Jeff Bezos and Virgin Media boss Richard Branson, who have both recently embarked on multi-million-pound space trips by being fired to the very edge of space using a specially-designed wooden catapult. When attached to the braces on his massive, high-waistband trousers, it will hurl him skywards at speeds in excess of two thousand miles per hour.


Speaking to newsmen last night, Cowell (87), said, "Ever since I was a kid, listening to David Bowie's Space Oddity on my transistor radio, I've been fascinated by space travel. So this opportunity to be catapulted to the very edge of the Earth's atmosphere using my huge trousers as a rudimentary slingshot really is a boyhood dream come true."


Cowell is scheduled to be launched from his back garden on October 10 this year, wearing a specially designed helmet linked to an oxygen tank on his back and lead-lined wellington boots. These will counterbalance the lack of gravitational pull and bring him back down to Earth, where he will splash down in the Limehouse Basin in East London a day or two later.


The daring mogul will also be coated with a high factor sunscreen in case he ventures too close to the sun, although he has told friends he hopes to avoid that pitfall by going at night.

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