Marks & Spencer promised any meat would be sourced locally and technically free-range – if you include riffling through a clinical waste bin. ‘Britain has some of the tastiest patients in Europe – we need to capitalize on this. We plan to launch an ad campaign, with a series of high-definition images of post-operative scars; covered in thick, creamy custard. The television adverts will have a sultry voice-over, accompanied by the mouth-watering sight of a routine appendectomy.
‘Human tissue, now at prices you’ll love. Kosher, halal and child-size portions. Clean cuts of all the fresh meat you can eat – provided the operation has complications’.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/121963_66850930d9ec46b9b226a709f87cfcc0~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_115,h_86,al_c,q_80,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,blur_2,enc_auto/121963_66850930d9ec46b9b226a709f87cfcc0~mv2.jpg)