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Spring Watch to feature Royal birth

Emerging bleary eyed, from her subterranean lair, the Duchess of Cambridge has made her first public appearance since the onset of morning sickness. Royal Bird watchers were delighted to see that she had lost none of the lustre, delicate plumage or ‘phwoar factor’ that they had been observed during her August mating ritual.

The birth, due in April, will be recorded in 360° detail, covered by every newspaper and commented on by Bill Oddie. Although, Kensington Palace officials were at pains to point out that she is a Royal Swan and not a Common Tit ‘…like her sister’.

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