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Three Kings photo: 'Know your place, peasants'

A photograph showing Chuck 3, Wills 5 and G-Dog 7 in bethroned opulence has reminded all non-royal Brits that, fundamentally, they are worthless, boot-licking scum. Forelock tuggers across the land got a quasi-sexual thrill from the snap as they saw enough King to last the UK until the 22nd century.

By this time, the royals will presumably have transferred their consciousness into heavily armed cybernetic "killer" robots to ensure sufficient servility amongst the remaining population.

That this hasn't happened already is the fault of Meghan Markle claim several hysterical tabloids. They insist that Markle personally held a pillow over the face of Lizzo 2: This time it's personal, until she stopped struggling. In reality Lizzo 2 met Lizzo Truss and simply abandoned hope.

Royal enthusiast Warren Wright said 'Why oh why oh why do people complain about having to choose between heating and eating when the monarchy also faces difficult choices: like which golden carriage to ride in, or whether to apologise for slavery or disown a sweaty paedophile. Charles' magnificence alone warms your heart and fills your stomach. He is your King. Know your place, you filthy, disgusting serfs. Kneel. KNEEL!'

Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst added 'We're now allowed to arrest you if you don't like the monarchy. And we definitely will, because voter ID laws, plus a royalist only electorate could keep the Tories in power until the 22nd century as well - one of BoJo's grandchildren as PM.

image from pixabay

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