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Trump denies ordering a Russian Mail Order Bribe

Accusations of an arranged marriage and an arranged election result have dogged Mr. Trump, who has a long history of implausible relationships with Eastern Europeans. Rumours are abound that Donald Trump may have been assisted in his presidential campaign by a sultry, beauty from Saint Petersburg - answering to Grindr profile of 'Vladimir the Impaler'. 

Trump may have been seduced with Vlad's tantalizing offer of mutual masturbation and assured destruction - followed by some 'back-door action in the Urals'.  Meanwhile Vlad's profile describe him as being interested in elderly oligarchs and romantic walks in the country - specifically if the country borders onto Russia.

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