Alongside Santa Claus and good dental hygiene, the British people are unaware that the US put a man on the moon in 1969. Such is their level of denial, a UK consortium plans to land a robotic probe on the moon, making them more out of date than VCRs, travel agents or saying ‘toats’ to a teenage girl.
The elaborate media blackout has kept the UK hermetically sealed for the last 45 years, despite the fact that North Korea had established a thriving moon colony in 1994. The Astronomer Royal said: ‘Britain plans to be the first on the moon. And we reject the suggestion that key facts have been hidden from us. The moon is made of cheese. There are monsters living under the bed. And, as Nanny says, if I swallow an apple seed, a tree will grow out of my ear.’