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US to introduce border height restrictions

A 2008 law which grants children an automatic asylum hearing, is to be revised in favour a dinosaur shaped sign with height measurements on it, with the slogan: 'Give me your tired, your poor...but no one under four foot eight'. More than 50,000 children have been detained since October trying to flout the new height guidelines, many standing on each other’s shoulders or wearing stilts. Explained one Texan parent: ’US children can't compete with a cute kid from Central America. My own children are always banging on about the minimum wage; whereas a hardworking immigrant will mow the lawn, study hard and tidy their room for less the 10 cents.'

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