What to do in a 'bag for life or death' situation
Shopper Karolina Krychowiak has accidentally used a Sainsbury's bag for life at a branch of Tesco, breaking the supermarket honour code. 'As a Polish woman, I'm depressingly familiar with getting looks from racists, but when I got that orange bag out for my meal deal, it was like when the masked gunslinger bursts through the saloon doors and the piano player stops. Luckily I used the self-service till otherwise things might have got tasty, unlike my meal deal,' she confirmed.
A Tesco source said 'This kind of provocation will not stand. We will find her and we will cut her food bills by 5%.'
Youssef Younis said 'As a British Asian I'm depressingly familiar with getting looks from racists but pulling out a Waitrose bag in Aldi felt like I'd deliberately attracted the attention of a crowd of zombies to tear me limb from limb.'
Aldi's middle aisle sometimes sells an undead uprising survival kit. An Aldi spokesman shuffled forward, murmuring 'Braaaaiins'.