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Woman pretending to like podcasts lives in fear of being asked about them

Liz Morris, an avocado-loving millennial from Doncaster, is neither hip, nor cool; due to the fact that she absolutely despises podcasts. ‘The trouble is,’ said the 32 year-old, ‘Podcasts form the basis of 89% of office conversation. The other 11% is taken up by photos of Barry from accounts’ 5 adopted cats.’

Despite being a woman, whose womb is primed and ready to receive the maternal hot takes of broadcasting mummy bloggers, podcasts really aren’t her thing. ‘It started harmlessly enough with me nodding enthusiastically to others,’ says Liz.

‘But now, when I go jogging, I’ve got my earphones in and I laugh occasionally to look like my life is being enriched by the self-aggrandisement of a comedian with a mic in their bedroom, when really I’m listening to sweet, sweet nothing.’

‘I’ve also built an Anderson shelter in my garden and filled it with enough supplies to last me 10 years. I’ve let the neighbours assume I’m preparing for Brexit, but really it’s for the inevitable day when I get found out by someone asking me what my favourite episode of My Dad Wrote a Porno is.’

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