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Worst fears confirmed: God is a lefty

Concerns were raised when Pope Francis headlined at last year’s ‘Burning Man’ festival, appearing in a Che Guevara t-shirt and Thai fisherman trousers. A Church spokesman refused to be drawn on God’s political leanings but did admit that the Vatican would soon be turned into an organic farm, with an endorsement from Jeremy Corbyn.

Reeking of Nag Champa, God explained he had learnt to play the didgeridoo and had discovered yoga for the first time. He announced his intention to perform on the alternative-comedy circuit with his own brand of left-wing gospels and observational quips on why Michael Mcintyre is going to hell. Although one hard-line priest complained: ‘The power has clearly gone to God’s head, he’s suffering from a Russel Brand-complex’.

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