Finance manager Derek Sanders of Bromsgrove is in hiding following a humiliating visit to a guitar shop with his son Matt, 17. Derek said in a telephone interview that he’d only been trying to encourage his son to do something constructive. ‘In my day we didn’t have laptops and Xboxes,’ he said. ‘If we didn’t want to watch rubbish like On the Buses we had to make our own entertainment.’
People intending to purchase a fancy new plasma screen should take a long hard look at themselves if they care in the slightest about having their family terrorised by a malevolent being, warned poltergeists.
Comedy car manufacturer Toyota is to recall 10,000 clown cars following a raft of complaints from circuses across the length and breadth of the country.
Campaigners have today called for the offspring of sperm donors to be given the legal right to learn the identity of the person their biological father was mentally getting jiggy with when he donated his DNA.