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Remote workers vote to strike from home



Following the breakdown of a series of Zoom meetings to discuss pay and conditions, telecommuting staff have voted to take industrial action and are preparing to go on remote strike. The action could see workers failing to attend virtual communication seminars, remote documentation reviews and on-line management briefings, all without the need to blame their internet connection or IT set-up.


The Union Convenor explained that the pay offer had been rejected by the membership via a postal ballot, although most of the votes had been cast remotely by proxy to save workers from having to leave their home office environment.


Meanwhile, the Company said that it was suspending the benefit of being able to work from home during the period of industrial action. A spokesman explained, ‘We expect striking workers to turn up and strike from their workplace.’


However, one worker is preparing for a long slog away from the laptop in his spare bedroom. He has already ordered a brazier from Amazon to stand beside when on virtual picket line duty in his garden.


image from pixabay



First published 10 Jun 2022


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Firms to use brain data surveillance to monitor workers



Companies are showing increasing interest in using brain-monitoring technology (‘neurotech’) to keep track of what their workers are up to.


Trials at a French-owned TotalPrix discount store have already proved the value of the technology, by electrocuting and grassing up staff,


Retail assistants on minimum wage wore a special beanie hat that monitored their brain waves. While the staff were stacking shelves, talking to customers or working at the checkout, there was no discernible brain activity. However, brain activity ‘lit up’ when staff nipped outside for a vape or a quick shag, when they played on-line gambling games, and when they were nicking stuff.


The store manager was impressed. He said that the store didn’t hire people to think and that the neurotech gizmos clearly showed that when staff are thinking, they are up to no good.


The staff, however, proved resourceful in undermining management’s attempts to watch their every move. One staff member sold his £60,000 neuro-beanie to a customer for a pound (everything’s a pound) and another dodged the surveillance by putting the hat on his dog. This staff member was subsequently fired, as the dog had, apparently, been thinking bad things.


Future iterations of the technology may be able to deliver larger, more painful electric shocks if independent thought is detected and fatal ones if staff members appear to be unionising.




First published 9 Jun 2023


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Tory party divided about whether Tory party is split



There has been a mixed reaction to MP Natalie Elphicke's claim that the Tory party is not split.


"I think she's wrong, and so do many of my colleagues", said Chris Grayling, who wished to remain nameless, but ticked the wrong box.


Polling suggests that around half the party think the party is unified, the other half disagree.


image from pixabay



First published 8 Jun 2022


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