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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Cameron raises the bar in "Worst Prime-Minister" contest

Former prime-minister, David Cameron, has returned to deliver what appears to be a impossibly high level of greed and incompetence. Mr Cameron issued a statement; "There has been talk of me being...

12
apepper 14.04.21 9:20pm
Benvoleo
Madoff to be entombed in a really big pyramid 1
beckfordburger 14.04.21 9:19pm
Titus
Civil Servants ordered to declare second jobs as firefighters 0
throngsman 14.04.21 8:18pm
throngsman
MasterChef finalist said he lost because his cooking was thymeless 0
SteveB 14.04.21 7:57pm
SteveB
Duke's funeral rehearsal: elderly volunteers requested 0
Sinnick 14.04.21 7:24pm
Sinnick
'Next to Ukraine just happens to be cheapest place to park tanks,' shrugs Putin 0
SteveB 14.04.21 7:07pm
SteveB
Back up Your brain but not now! - 23789

Scientists who are intellectually challenged, announced an important step forward today, this being that in 2 decades from now, when the vast majority of us, will be in wooden overcoats, we will be...

251
Kazytc 14.04.21 6:47pm
Sir Lupus
Greensill a right old Eton Mess. 0
ron cawleyoni 14.04.21 5:21pm
ron cawleyoni
Dave opens a Cameron of worms. 0
ron cawleyoni 14.04.21 5:20pm
ron cawleyoni
N.I. riots could still have happenned inside the EU, says Brussels spokesman.

More provocation later...

28
MzWibble 14.04.21 4:48pm
MzWibble
Number of TV cops exceeds real cops by 2022

Due to cutbacks and binge watching ‘Line of Duty’, the UK’s police force is now primarily made up of graduates of Drama School and actors resting between series of ‘Death in Paradise’....

8
Wrenfoe 14.04.21 4:01pm
Max Stars
Seventh Day Adventists face competition from Eighth Day Adventists

Researchers From across the United States report a rise in membership of the Eighth Day Adventist (EDA) movement as more adherents from the Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) denomination are attracted to...

0
Max Stars 14.04.21 3:59pm
Max Stars
Bernie Madoff off. 0
Al OPecia 14.04.21 2:42pm
Al OPecia
Rabbits fear roll-out of Mixamydoses vaccine trial. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 14.04.21 12:49pm
Lockjaw54
Cameron puts in late dramatic bid to buy The Duke's Head

Former prime minister and Old Sleazetonian David Cameron has put in an offer to purchase a derelict 99-year old pub in his old constituency of Toffton West. The Duke's Head is just down the road...

0
oshaughnessy 14.04.21 11:57am
oshaughnessy
Chris Whitty seen approaching Whitehall wielding x- and y- axes 2
gibbet 14.04.21 11:49am
SteveB
For Sale: Taser. Never used. One careless owner. 8
camz 14.04.21 11:42am
SteveB
CHESS LATEST: Queen's gambit Duke to Morgue 3 leaves future King in check 1
oshaughnessy 14.04.21 10:34am
Lockjaw54
Biggins to resume first official duties since easing of lockdown

Actor, raconteur and national treasure Christopher Biggins has carried out his first official engagement since the easing of lockdown., Biggins - who is appearing as The Fairy Godmother in the...

2
Gerontius 14.04.21 10:33am
Sinnick
"To Save The Planet" And Other Ludicrous Reasons To Become Vegan

The woke brigade may be out in force trying to convince us veganism is the future but here we dispell those myths with fact based proof that they are definitely all a bunch of nutters. 1. Lots of...

4
BangingOnAgain 14.04.21 10:33am
Al OPecia
Amendment to events at Tokyo Olympics expected.

Chair of the Tokyo Olypmic Committee, Mrs Seiko Watchtime, has announced some changes to reflect the current World Pandemic and Crises in General. A fuller briefing is expected nearer the opening...

0
Lockjaw54 14.04.21 10:32am
Lockjaw54
US troops to leave Afghanistan by 11th September & return by 12th September 0
oshaughnessy 14.04.21 10:17am
oshaughnessy
No data breach not at Facebook never happened again

A social network no one has ever heard of denies that another non-data breach has not taken place and it absolutely has not affected half a billion users. But that's because if it admitted there had...

2
SteveB 14.04.21 9:42am
Myke
The southern tribes still mourning the death of Prince Philip

The southern tribes still mourning the death of Prince Philip Tribal communities across the south and south east are still in deep mourning following the death of Prince Philip, the Queen's consort...

4
Gerontius 14.04.21 9:09am
Gerontius
‘All things must pass’ advises Gastroenterologist

This reassuring advice has been given to Simon Kosmatka (37) who had inadvertently swallowed a series of cherry stones, after inhaling a home-made fruit salad, without pausing to chew. Simon who has...

0
Wrenfoe 14.04.21 8:25am
Wrenfoe
Tories Demonstrate Secret Of Success: Only Ally Yourself With COMPETENT Cronies

Or rather, perhaps, demonstrate the inverse: the secret of disaster is to not just to be corrupt, but be corrupted by incompetent cronies. Ferries, PPE, dodgy loans to insolvent companies, anyone? ...

0
Titus 14.04.21 8:00am
Titus
"To Save The Planet" And Other Ludicrous Reasons To Become Vegan

The woke brigade may be out in force trying to convince us veganism is the future but here we dispell those myths with fact based proof that they are definitely all a bunch of nutters. 1. Lots of...

0
BangingOnAgain 14.04.21 7:38am
BangingOnAgain
Labour Has No Cronies, So Objects To Tory 'Cronyism'

Let's face it, if [i]you[/i] were a ruthlessly ambitious businessman, would [i]you[/i] bother to spend lots of time and money trying to curry favour with the Labour party? ...

0
Titus 14.04.21 7:32am
Titus
Queen’s return to duties 4 days after DoE’s death “shows contempt” says Farage

More faux outrage soon...

0
Benvoleo 14.04.21 6:54am
Benvoleo
Lambeth cluster something we can all build on, say middle class 0
Myke 14.04.21 4:21am
Myke