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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Men who released gas on London Underground had eaten Wetherspoons breakfast. 0
dominic_mcg 20.07.19 10:30pm
dominic_mcg
Man who hates deformed feet diagnosed with "lack toes intolerance". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 20.07.19 10:26pm
dominic_mcg
Poet Laureate still can't think of a rhyme for Laureate. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 20.07.19 10:21pm
dominic_mcg
Katie Hopkins reveals her pet name for Trump is Meal Ticket 1
tonymc81 20.07.19 9:18pm
Sinnick
TODAY IN TIME

The BBC News channel repeatedly shows a one-minute piece called 'This Week In History' which is clips of several old news stories with captions giving each story's year and headline. Perhaps...

26
Crayon 20.07.19 5:14pm
Benvoleo
'Will of the People' Banned

The BBC and other news organisations with an interest in using Language accurately and clearly has decided that the expression 'the will of the people' - especially in any Brexit related discussions,...

3
granger 20.07.19 4:13pm
granger
Iran says Suez if you dare. 0
ron cawleyoni 20.07.19 4:04pm
ron cawleyoni
Black Eyed Peas to cover Green Onions. 0
ron cawleyoni 20.07.19 4:01pm
ron cawleyoni
Boris & Iranians' Ship Hi-Jack - 'A Complete Tanker'

(OK a well-worn theme here at present - hat-tip to Candide among others - but I've tried to word this sufficiently ambiguously for the pseudo-pun to more-or-less work) ...

2
Titus 20.07.19 1:46pm
beau-jolly
The Whim of Some People.

Have just posted in the Writers room the suggestion that the phrase [i]will of the people[/i] should be banned and replaced by [i]whim of some people[/i] to give a clearer meaning of what is intended...

4
granger 20.07.19 12:43pm
Crayon
Boris Johnson to replace HS2 line with a bridge between London and Birmingham.

More bridges soon...

1
Mick Turate 20.07.19 12:11pm
apepper
Estate Agents celebrate as Waitrose announces closure programme.

"Business is really booming", said Mr Purple who asked that the name of his business be withheld. "Affected homeowners are desperate to move to the catchment area of a store that is staying open.",...

0
Mick Turate 20.07.19 11:56am
Mick Turate
You can’t force us to mix with scum say residents

Ministers that have vowed to end the practice of separate entrances and separate play areas for Social Housing tenants and private owners are meeting stiff opposition from a group of residents in...

1
tonymc81 20.07.19 11:02am
Newsdesk
Jeremy Corbyn announces plan to appeal to Jews by dropping subscription to £2 28
Adrian Bamforth 20.07.19 10:59am
Newsdesk
Boris Johnson reveals his list of favourite films of all time

Yesterday was a Lie (2008), The Good Lie (2014), What Lies beneath (2000), The Great Lie (1941), Sleeping Dogs Lie (2005), A Good Lie (1998), Little white Lie (2008), Lie with me (2005)...

0
tonymc81 20.07.19 10:19am
tonymc81
New Radioactive Element Discovered

The [i]Nude Scientist[/i] has today published a paper describing how an alert group of political scientists have discovered what they believe to be a completely new radioactive element, with an...

1
Titus 20.07.19 9:17am
beau-jolly
Tanker crisis sees Boris ask his name be withdrawn from party leadership contest

It is understood following reports Iran has seized two oil tankers in the Straits of Hormuz, both with British links, that serial chancer, clueless self-serving waffling windbag and total buffoon,...

2
Chipchase 20.07.19 9:05am
Terry Bunn
Boris Safe in Middle East: Iran Seized Merchant ‘Tanker’ 0
Candide 20.07.19 7:42am
Candide
Hammond Might Join New Opposition Party

It has been rumoured that the present chancellor may resign from the government immediately the new PM is announced, and join the parliamentary group known as 'The Other Lot of Tories'. This group...

3
Titus 20.07.19 7:08am
Titus
HS2 will pay for itself in time for Brexit, says DfT. 1
Newsdesk 20.07.19 6:36am
Titus
Iran Has 'Weapons Of Mass Tanker Detention': Britain Threatens 'To Be Upset'

Trump says 'There are arguments on both sides' ...

0
Titus 20.07.19 6:33am
Titus
Emily Thornberry to be Stabilised. 0
ron cawleyoni 20.07.19 12:59am
ron cawleyoni
Labour spokes man fixes Emily Thornberry's bicycle wheel 0
tonymc81 19.07.19 11:50pm
tonymc81
Labour spokes man fixes Thornberry's bicycle wheel 0
tonymc81 19.07.19 11:50pm
tonymc81
Tankers for the memories

Who said the age of romance and piracy is not dead? Iran, the UK and the US are all desperate to hold onto any little memento of one another, particular anything tanker-shaped. Explained an Iranian...

0
Wrenfoe 19.07.19 11:42pm
Wrenfoe
Boris all tied up as Kipper Lies...back in fashion. 0
ron cawleyoni 19.07.19 11:08pm
ron cawleyoni
Exploding tomato ruins everything

Adil Chaudhry (34) has had his life turned upside down and his shirt coated, by vegetable shrapnel. Tentatively pricking a cherry tomato with his fork, Mr Chaudhry unleashed a chain of events that...

0
Wrenfoe 19.07.19 10:48pm
Wrenfoe
UK shits itself at prospect of Boris handling Iranian tanker crisis from day one 1
Chipchase 19.07.19 9:57pm
Titus
Above inflation pay rise for public sector workers*

*only last year's inflation, obviously. Why would you consider pay and inflation back to 2010? That would be weird...

0
deskpilot3 19.07.19 9:52pm
deskpilot3
Great Britain Thunders 'Give Us Our Boat Back - Aww, Go On, Please? PLEASE?'

More sabre-fumbling soon ...

0
Titus 19.07.19 9:17pm
Titus