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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Pub landlords practice ‘Haven’t you got News at 10 to get back to’ cries 1
chrisf 21.09.20 11:20pm
Filthy Rich
Man washes neighbour’s car after being jokily asked to

The playbook of social norms was ripped up into pieces today after a man washing his car took up his neighbour on the jokey aside that ‘you can wash mine after you’ve finished yours’. Peter...

1
chrisf 21.09.20 11:17pm
Filthy Rich
New medicinal cannabis comedy club will leave no turn unstoned. 1
Mirthless Evil C 21.09.20 11:14pm
Filthy Rich
Runners Queue Up At Finish: 'After You!' 'No, No, After YOU!'

Race to end later. Eventually ...

1
Titus 21.09.20 11:14pm
Filthy Rich
Bond villain dies at 89 as underwater nursing home explodes 2
Myke 21.09.20 11:11pm
Filthy Rich
National Shavings 2
SteveB 21.09.20 11:11pm
Filthy Rich
Public health comedy double act runs into early dilemma

Double acts like Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello, and Johnson and Cummings have always traded on the funny guy - straight guy chemistry that made them so funny. The new public health double act...

3
throngsman 21.09.20 11:10pm
Filthy Rich
Unpoliced illegal raves forced to close when drugs run out 0
antharrison 21.09.20 10:15pm
antharrison
So, Mr Lonsdale, we didn't expect you to die ! 0
Sinnick 21.09.20 10:11pm
Sinnick
'Hands > Face > Space' evokes image of Edvard Munch's The Scream

The government's top men, Top Men, have strained every sinew to come up with a world-beating slogan to swat all this bothersome Covid-19 away. In place of installing a working, proven app-based track...

3
SteveB 21.09.20 8:50pm
SteveB
Churchill looked at not complying with legal treaty 'in a specific manner'

Historians have unearthed documents suggesting that in 1939 Churchill attempted to prevent Great Britain declaring war on Germany when they invaded Poland. Notes from Cabinet meetings that were...

0
throngsman 21.09.20 8:17pm
throngsman
Panicking French finance minister stuffs money under his mistress

big Hat Tip to SteveB...

2
Myke 21.09.20 7:27pm
Sir Lupus
Observe, Mr Drax, your route from this world to the next. 0
Mick Turate 21.09.20 6:29pm
Mick Turate
Bungle-prone PM moves wrong place marker and puts UK at DEFCON 4

'Alert level 4, Sir? Are you sure? It does mean changing the bulb'...

0
SteveB 21.09.20 6:02pm
SteveB
Whitty, Vallance now officially human shields. 0
Mirthless Evil C 21.09.20 5:51pm
Mirthless Evil C
No 10 economic geniuses create conditions for first ever run on the government 0
SteveB 21.09.20 4:46pm
SteveB
BBC’s Repair Shop turns down restoring Boris’s credibility as impossible project 0
Mirthless Evil C 21.09.20 4:37pm
Mirthless Evil C
Eve, Emma, Tempur sales skyrocket as Brits rush to stuff money somewhere safe 2
SteveB 21.09.20 4:16pm
SteveB
Matt Hancock warns calculus might form part of Covid rules

Clearly desperate and worried that his various and changing rules and regulations designed to protect the population are being ignored and probably misunderstood by the electorate, Health Minister...

0
throngsman 21.09.20 2:57pm
throngsman
Boris: "Hang on a minute Lads...I've got a Great idea.........

On days like these....

1
ron cawleyoni 21.09.20 2:18pm
Myke
Boris organises "Kiss a Pangolin" competition to take people's mind off covid

Following the grim news from government scientists which suggested people returning to offices and restaurants too early was an act of insanity, the prime-minister has announced a "cheer-up Britain"...

0
apepper 21.09.20 12:53pm
apepper
Experts Support Government's Dithering: 'We Don't Know, Either' 0
Titus 21.09.20 12:49pm
Titus
Fit & healthy due to anathematic state nannying?Get fat @ Libertarian Boot Camp!

You've spent your long, hale life wanting to stick it to the loathful state interventionism responsible for your longevity. You've selflessly fought for others not to be subjected to the same...

2
Benvoleo 21.09.20 12:09pm
Benvoleo
Fridge denies that Boris Johnson was In Italy last weekend 1
Mick Turate 21.09.20 11:13am
Myke
Pope is pregnant shock! 0
Myke 21.09.20 11:11am
Myke
Russia offer $12 million for PM as transfer season opens 0
Myke 21.09.20 11:07am
Myke
Barclays and HSBC to sell timeshares, Viagra, and miracle penis enlargers 0
Myke 21.09.20 11:02am
Myke
PM denies blessing pilgrims from Vatican balcony

Boris Johnson may have ambitions to become the next Pope, according to Downing Street sources. Having been head boy at Eaton, Mayor of London, and Prime Minister, it is believed he wouldn’t mind...

0
Myke 21.09.20 10:59am
Myke
Cummings denies holding light aircraft license. 0
ron cawleyoni 21.09.20 9:25am
ron cawleyoni
Channel 4 launches new Matt Hancock vehicle: ‘Stupor Nanny’

[i][Synchronistic hat-tip to Mirthless Evil C][/i] Matt Hancock- or Nanny Cockup, as image consultants have rebranded him- is busy whoring up his patronising hectoring to new levels, fronting a new...

0
Filthy Rich 21.09.20 8:41am
Filthy Rich