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Welcome to the NewsBiscuit Writers' Room 0 Nice Admin Lady 02.12.13 11:19pm
Nice Admin Lady
Morrissey re-releases This Charming Man, dedicated to David Starkey

In an echo of Elton John's reworking of Candle in the Wind, Morrissey has decided it is time to revisit This Charming Man in tribute to Dr David Starkey: A jumped up grammar school boy, who knows...

Mirthless Evil C 03.07.20 10:28am
Max Stars
Literally catch-your-breath, heart-stopping viral films for literal flea-pits

[i], [A few just dribbled unbidden into my head while walking the dogs: knew it’d have been done, but checked, & since that was early May, wondered if could sneak in a revisit on the thin...

Filthy Rich 03.07.20 10:19am
Multiple Ticker Fodder IX...

Max-swell, Boris Johnson saying act responsibly is like Prince Andrew saying don't sweat it, Boris Johnson saying act responsibly is like Oliver Reed saying act responsibly, George Eustace: 'raw...

SteveB 03.07.20 10:09am
Covid-19 latest: Travel to America still too dangerous insists Prince Andrew 0
bookiesfriend 03.07.20 9:51am
Prince Andrew volunteers to fulfill vacant room at Ecuadorian Embassy.

As long as it takes...

ron cawleyoni 03.07.20 9:47am
ron cawleyoni
Last breeding pair of Brexiteers to get round the clock protection. More soon. 18
dominic_mcg 03.07.20 8:33am
Max Stars
Putin's Russia not the same as Lampard's Chelsea 1
SteveB 03.07.20 8:31am
Max Stars
Café Rouge in the red. More soon. 4
dominic_mcg 03.07.20 8:13am
Covid-19 Spike - “I told you I was ill”

There’s a lot of it about...

Mirthless Evil C 03.07.20 8:07am
Scientists testing sewage for Covid-19 accused of just going through the motions 1
Adrian Bamforth 03.07.20 8:02am
Andrew starts sweating. Again. 0
Sinnick 03.07.20 8:00am
Ghislaine Maxwell arrested after being spotted visiting Pizza Express 0
Mick Turate 03.07.20 7:52am
Mick Turate
Which is better for your narcotics comparisons? Top Gear? or Tripadvisor? 0
SteveB 03.07.20 7:41am
UK Track and Trace now focused entirely on identifying Boris’s children

Worzel Gummidge and Catweazle confirmed so far...

Mirthless Evil C 03.07.20 7:05am
Mirthless Evil C
Williamson scheme - seven year in-chimney apprenticeships for all 10 year olds

This scheme will achieve social distancing while kick starting the economy, announced Shirley Knott, spokeswoman for the ex-fireplace salesman. It is win win all round, she claimed. It will reduce...

Mirthless Evil C 03.07.20 5:26am
Mirthless Evil C
Maxwell House to be rebranded as Pimp Shack 1
Landfill 03.07.20 4:53am
Mirthless Evil C
Historian counters criticism with new multi-cultural series 'Starkey's Darkies'. 0
MADJEZ 03.07.20 12:03am
China retaliates by offering 65 million brits Chinese citizenship - Mao soon 3
Bigglesworth 02.07.20 10:33pm
Mirthless Evil C
Stanley Johnson changes name to Cummings 1
Mirthless Evil C 02.07.20 8:34pm
Robert Maxwell would be the first to admit he went a bit overboard on Ghislaine.

Baddum tisch The Maxwells, the gift that keeps giving.

MADJEZ 02.07.20 8:27pm
Ian & Kevin Maxwell disown sister for bringing shame on the family name. 1
MADJEZ 02.07.20 6:31pm
Sir Lupus
TV football soundtrack options to include Gary Neville On or Off

In an effort to attract more viewers to their coverage of football matches being staged purely for the benefit of TV, Sky Sports are offering viewers the choice of blanking out Gary Neville’s...

Midfield Diamond 02.07.20 5:54pm
Midfield Diamond
Multiple Ticker Fodder VIII

Amsterdam green-lights red lights, Nikola Tesla's left nut worth more than Musk's empire, Tesla valuation causes transition to augmented reality 2.0, $10 billion of 'E-waste' mostly mobiles...

SteveB 02.07.20 5:29pm
Sir Lupus
Starkey: "the Holocaust wasn't genocide, look how many Jews there are still."

More racist bullshit soon...

Sir Lupus 02.07.20 5:15pm
Sir Lupus
Ghislaine Maxwell “only evaded arrest till now thanks to unpronounceable name”

More soon [i][I do intend trying something on this, with other names & class prejudice etc. But apparently I'm expected to pull my weight in Real Life from time to time(??), so whacking...

Filthy Rich 02.07.20 5:13pm
Sir Lupus
Stanley Johnson flies to Greece to pick up some replacement marbles 3
oshaughnessy 02.07.20 4:51pm
Filthy Rich
Waterski 'not Russian for water' insist linguists 2
nickb 02.07.20 4:30pm
Filthy Rich
Naughty school kids to be placed in trouble bubble 1
Max Stars 02.07.20 3:51pm
Leicester Airlift being planned to break through blockade 0
Max Stars 02.07.20 3:48pm
Max Stars
Hancock orders the body of Richard 3rd to be tested for Covid 19

Matt Hancock has asked that the body of King Richard 3rd, currently buried in Leicester Cathedral, be urgently tested for Covid 19. At a private press conference, the Health Secretary announced,...

PaulD 02.07.20 2:29pm