The People’s Republic of North Korea has confirmed that despite mounting public pressure, its state radio station will play only ‘four or five seconds’ of the new single by South Korean pop sensation Psy during its official chart show on Sunday. ‘Gentleman’, the follow-up to the global smash hit ‘Gangnam Style’, has achieved enormous sales in the last few days, much to the displeasure of the incumbent totalitarian regime which insists it is disrespectful to the memory of their Dear Leader.
‘There are very difficult and emotional arguments on both sides of the border,’ said a spokesman for the ultra-conservative North Korean Broadcasting Corporation. ‘However, as a public service broadcaster, we cannot condone the tasteless campaign for this record to top the charts. Our decision is that we will play a short excerpt of the record in a news environment – that is to say, a newscaster in the employ of the state will report that this disgusting example of freedom of expression is being shamefully promoted by sinister forces intent on the destruction of the economic and political ideals our great nation stands for.’
North Korean politicians have supported the broadcaster’s stance. ‘People buying this song out of choice and from their own personally-generated income - and thereby boosting private industry - contradicts everything our Dear Leader believed in,’ said one. ‘It is an act born out of greed and an ingrained hatred of the workers. This is exactly the sort of thing that happens when you allow freedom of expression. Suddenly everyone thinks they’ve got the right to voice their opinion no matter how much it offends an entire nation’s sensibility.’
In a separate announcement, the North Korean Broadcasting Corporation has revealed it will pay tribute to Baroness Thatcher by playing ‘Candle in the Nuclear Wind’, a celebration of the single-minded pursuit of your beliefs regardless of the human consequences, and current chart-topper ‘I’ve Got a Brand New State-Subsidised Combine Harvester’.