While failing to overcome the inherent illegalities of offshoring desperate immigrants at the increasingly shrill behest of a rampantly vindictive government, the House of Lords has sought personal sanctuary in also attaching an amendment to send themselves to a luxury resort in the Maldives. Although in the context of Rwanda, the Maldives should be officially referred to as 'the other place'.
Lord Jobsworth confirmed, 'The Prime Minister of the other other place noisily confided in us all that if we passed his precious Rwanda bill, we could have whatever our hearts and offshore tax avoidance funds desired.
'To that end, there are several hundred additional amendments to the bill, including family home moats, duck houses, 300-year-old brandies, mountain ranges of cocaine and as many high end prostitutes as we can shake a limp stick at.
'The whole Rwanda thing was quite reasonable taxpayer value at a shade over £500 million, so we've just tacked on a cheeky few extra billion in additional costs. That's how democracy works these days. The lovely Suella Braverman shall have her moist dream of a front page splash in the Telegraph of poor souls shrieking all the way to East Africa.
'If that seems reasonable value to you, also included in the price is a sign for a small lectern with the three word slogan GET RWANDA DONE. And that concludes our part in the defrauding of a nation.
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